Simple Living Tips

Work-life balance issues can cause a lot of stress and guilt for many working moms.

As a working mom, it’s tough to have enough time for your work and your family. It’s hard to avoid feeling guilty for not having “enough time.” But, if you really think about it: What is considered “enough time”… and who really decides what this is?

What ever you’re doing is never going to be enough for some people you ask. And if you keep asking people, you’re just going to keep torturing yourself with guilt that you’re not doing enough.

Whose opinion really matters when it comes to having enough time with your family? The opinion of your loved ones matters the most. So, your family members are the best people to ask about this. Their perception of the time they have with you can help guide you on what you need to do.

Many years ago, when I was going to graduate school and working, I was dealing with so much guilt for not spending “enough time” with my young son. I’ve been divorced for a couple of years at that time and my ex-husband was also very busy just starting out with his legal practice.

I was so stressed out from the time pressures from grad school and work. In addition, I really wanted to spend a lot more time with my son. So, I was dealing with so much guilt on top of everything else.

What helped me was talking to my son about how I was feeling. It was such a bonding experience for both of us. He was touched that I wanted to spend more time with him — and he would not have known anything about it if I hadn’t discussed things with him.

According to my son — the one whose opinion mattered the most to me — the time we we’re spending together was enough. It was good enough! The only thing that mattered to him was that I was thinking of him no matter how busy I was. And I was always… always thinking of him. I was thinking of him no matter where I was… no matter what I was doing. At that moment, my own son released me from all the guilt I was carrying! I remember feeling so overwhelmed with emotion and crying.

So, if you’re a working mom dealing with guilt about probably not having enough time with your family, try not to torture yourself about it. Instead, talk to your loved ones about what you’ve been dealing with related to your current work situation and how you’ve been feeling. Ask them what they would like to do in order to have enough time with each other. No matter how hard it is to talk about it, having this discussion can communicate to them how much you love them and care about them — that regardless of your current situation, you DO want to spend more time with them.

Maybe the discussion with your family will release you from your guilt. Maybe you’ll feel even closer to each other afterwards. Even if there’s nothing much that you can change about the demands of your work, improving your communication can help you deal with the guilt often associated with being a working mom.

Allie

It’s easy to understand how money — lack of it or it’s abundance – can affect our life. In addition to being able to provide the necessary things in life, having enough money allows us to “buy more time” with our loved ones. How many times have you missed out on spending time with your family and friends because you had to be at work? The less money you have, the more time you have to work  -–  and the less time you can spend with your loved ones.

Time and money are so closely intertwined. Both can have critical effects on our relationships with loved ones. Not having enough money can cause a lot of strain on relationships — it’s often mentioned as one of the main causes of divorce! Not having enough time to spend with each other can lead to a lot of resentment between couples — it can also lead to break ups or divorce.

Most people who work a lot think they’re doing it for their loved ones… and they’re often bewildered when their spouse or partner feels resentful and unloved. This shows the importance of having balance in life regarding money and time.

Couples can usually endure not having much money compared to not having much time spent with each other. Somehow, not having much quality time with each other tends to erode the loving connection between couples… it can lead to feeling neglected and unloved. No matter how important it is for you to spend more time at work to earn more money, it’s just as important to have enough quality time with loved ones.

Allie